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There have been countless hours when I sit with my saxophone in my fingers, then unsure, as they grasp each key in the tiresome effort of learning a new audition piece. At those times, all I do is stare despairingly at the long road of practicing, which faces me. The slow progression to a finished piece seems unmanageable and my only wish is that I could just play and play as naturally as I breathe. I wish the piece would just flow from my arms, to my hands, to my fingers, and then to the pearls on my keys. Then after this, I would only produce a fine sweet sound of pleasurable notes. My only wish is that I didn’t have to practice, that the notes would just diffuse into my head without me ever having to learn them.
As the days pass, I get frustrated when my brain fails to communicate with my fingers. I curse the tedious exercises that my instructor puts me through. Again I make wishes for it to be easy for me. Yet determination; the word that motivates me, makes me take action, excites me when I think of what I can accomplish keeps me from abandoning my goal.
And so months later, when the first time the notes are no longer black marks on paper but a finished and completed piece, I never regret the time that I put into learning it. The satisfaction felt when everything just falls into place is amazing; for at that moment the song not only stems from the repeated technical strokes controlled by my brain, but from my body where it gains life as it is put into sound. The choppy and uneven measures become as smooth as porcelain as I play in front of my peers and mentors. And the glow in my parent’s eyes is gratifying.
Then I think back to all the mistakes I made while learning the piece, the accumulated hours of frustration, and the slow progress towards completion. Then I smile. Because I know that had everything come easily, I would not have gained anything. I would not have gained the discipline, the satisfaction, and the confidence that came with the effort. As the famous jazz composer Duke Ellington once said, I like any and all of my associations with music – writing, playing, and listening. We write and play from our perspective, and the audience listens from its perspective. If and when we agree, I am lucky.
Word Count: 415
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